I was first going to write a post about how pleased I am that Proposition 8 in California was rejected by the 9th Circuit District Court. As a musician-for-hire who plays at weddings, more weddings means more money for my wallet, not to mention that there is this little thing called basic human rights and we still have a long way to go. Then somehow my post about how right it is to be able to marry anyone who would have me turned into a discussion of bisexuality (writers’ minds work in some weird tangents). If you were hoping to read something on Prop. 8, there are some far more eloquent blog posts out there than the one I was going to write, so go check those out. I also think this is a funny post coming right after one on how great it is to be single. But I think I’ve seen these things one too many times in pop culture in its various forms, so I just want to clear some things up.
1. We’re promiscuous.
Really? I must not have gotten the memo on this one. I think if someone looked at my sex life and took it as the example of all bisexuals, they’d think we’re all one step above monks and nuns. I mean, I’m sure there are some bi people out there saying that they’re having lots of sex, but so are a lot of straight people. We get insecure about ourselves and tell fish stories just like anyone else. I sure wish I was having lots of sex, but oftentimes reality gets in the way of that.
When I first saw the British sci-fi show Torchwood, I was delighted that we finally had a positive bisexual protagonist in Captain Harkness, especially since his sexuality wasn’t central to the show (just like heterosexual protagonist’s sexualities aren’t central to their shows either. Okay, unless were talking about Commander Riker). However, I realized that this guy wasn’t just bisexual. He’d screw anybody, or anything. Not a really good reflection of most bisexuals’ proclivities.
Bisexual people are totally capable of monogamy, whether it’s with someone of the opposite or same sex. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you know a few people in monogamous opposite- or same-sex relationships who are bisexual, but just haven’t said so.
2. We might cheat on you with/leave you for someone of the same sex.
I think this is similar to the previous myth, but I’ve heard it said a couple of times. Cheaters come in all different stripes. We might cheat on you with someone of the opposite sex. Straight people might cheat on you too. Bi people aren’t any more likely to cheat just because we have more options. And this leads me to my next myth…
3. Bisexual people have more options.
Maybe if you’re Captain Jack Harkness you do. I think though that having more options somehow makes us more picky. We see what’s out there, and we think we don’t have to settle for just any old male (or female), so our standards are pretty high. At least mine are. Also, the flip side of the coin is that we get rejected by both men and women. I mean, I’m thrilled that I can now marry a woman or a man without leaving the state, but the most likely scenario is still that I’ll end up with twenty cats and a sad-looking mutt.
4. We only do it to get the attention of the opposite sex.
I’ve heard this one directed mainly at women, but I suppose there might be some bi guys out there who have heard it too. I also have no doubt that there are plenty of straight sorority girls who go to bars or parties and make out with their roommates just to turn guys on. These women are incredibly annoying. This is where the term LUG comes from (Lesbian Until Graduation). If I’m kissing a woman, it’s not to get attention or to turn guys on; it’s to turn myself on.
5. Bisexuals just can’t make up their minds.
I’ve heard this one from both gay and straight people. If there’s no choice involved in being straight, and no choice involved in being gay, what makes you think that bisexuality involves a choice?
6. We all want threesomes!
No, just no. I’m sure some bi people like threesomes, just as some straight people like threesomes, and some gay people like threesomes. Hey, whatever floats your boat. I suspect that this is more of a straight guy’s fantasy than anything else (and pretty soon I’ll probably see a blog in response to this entitled “Myths about Straight Guys”). But I think most of us find this idea either gross or just plain tiring.
7. We’re really kinky.
Just like the last myth, there are people of every flavor of sexuality who are this way. But most of us have a line drawn somewhere in regards to what we will and will not do, and you’d be surprised at how vanilla most of us are.
8. Bisexuals are really gay and just can’t admit it.
And being bisexual is somehow better? Considering the prejudice from both gays and straights toward bisexuals (otherwise I wouldn’t have these hilarious myths to write about!) most bisexuals wouldn’t choose to identify this way, assuming they had a choice.
I’m sure there are some more, but this is my weekend and I need to go get dressed up so I can make out with random chicks downtown to get the attention of some sweaty college guys. We might even have a threesome later.
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